I hope you can see this comment- I am just now finding and reading you. Have you heard of Geneva,IL? That would be my Lake Forest. We did a stint in Lake Forest- but not proper Lake Forest. It was somewhere fringey to the actual Lake Forest. I was grown and in college by then. And I have taken the path of financial stability as well, realizing that my English degree and culinary arts degree were not going to cut the mustard in terms of financial security. And I have been moving and trying to settle into a place where I can build a womb around me- so here I am in the suburbs of DC, actually, (because, jobs) with my partner, six chickens, native plant garden plus fruit trees plus veg trugs. And I have a small house I want to pay off. And I live very intentionally, and after coming across the idea of querencia, I have made that my moniker (on Instagram as buildingquerencia). And I moved my mother into a house behind me so I can help. All this is to say that I guess I am surprised to find so many parallels. (No brother or sister, though). Geez! I’m glad to be reading about your life- maybe I am going to be ok myself! My condolences on so much of a loss. And you are not a failure- you wrote a novel! And a blog! And so much more! I know, this comment is way too long and gushy. Oh well.
Oh thank you Gail! I do know Geneva a little bit -- it's very beautiful out there. LF is a weird place, but it's "home" for most purposes, in the sense that it's where the people who knew me before I was a person live, it's where my elders live. But I've never regretted leaving.
And your life! If I have an evangelism, it's for what you're doing, and I'm doing. I mean, I'm not on a ranch -- I'm on a 50x100 foot town lot. It grieves me all the time that as a culture we've lost respect for the middle-life, the life of enough, the life of care, and attention, and moving our elderly loved ones close. So thank you! I'm doing some thinking today on what this Substack is for and about, and this was a real shot in the arm. Please! Let's keep the conversation going ...
Geneva and Lake Forest are great if you have wealth and a traditional family. Otherwise... not so much. I totally agree about the dignity of doing just fine, the subtle art of life-liberty-happiness, and chickens. How we are overwhelmed by our desire for status. I thought about you today- you wrote a book! I think that is amazing. And while I understand that you may have expected that you would write another, I must say that one is quite impressive! And a blog! And a Substack! And held a job and loved a brother and helped a mother and presumably did the laundry in there, somewhere, and paid the bills and grew a garden ... I mean..,,?? That’s a lot! And it seems to me that should be celebrated and honored- all those things. It’s admirable to those of us who haven’t. It’s the deepness and richness of it all that matters- the overcoming of perfection and shallowness. I think you should be proud. I will continue to read back thru your posts with glee and anticipation, for sure. You are a beacon of kindness. A hope for the rest of us.
Oh thanks! Yes -- this is pretty much the territory of one of the 2 books I'm working on at the moment -- the dignity of the ordinary, the value of building a life, and how we do that through the material things of the world.
Thank you so very much for your kind words. They come at an opportune moment!
This is such a beautiful piece of writing, and a lot of it really hit home for me! Thank you for writing this. The way you see the world and what it means to be a writer and really feel like a writer is a topic we all struggle with, and you described it beautifully!
Thank you for the words you found in this, for sharing your thoughts. I've been pondering much of it. So much is familiar. A few years ago, we "escaped" to Salmon, Idaho, for a variety of reasons I suspect you'd understand--very little gentrification here... yet. We make and create and fix and suffice and over time have been largely restored. Basically, without realizing it, we began our lives anew. A beautiful result of living deliberately, as you so nicely described it, is how it heightens awareness even as it is grounding. It has brought me much nearer to feeling synchronous and reflective and accepting in every moment. I hope the same has been true for you.
Oh thank you for this kind note. I'm hoping that the various turns I'm seeing back to the analog are a sign of changing winds. While the intertubes are still essential, I'd love to see the dream of a "seamless" life go the way of the NFT!
My Himself built that for me out of door/window units he replaced on a rich clients place. It is THE BEST. Especially during our long windy winters ...
Write it all, Charlotte. Messy, self-prohibited, all. Let it shake out later.
I always remember another thing Gary says. That revision is literally re-vision. Seeing it again. (I know you know all this.) And that you can't see something again if it's not there in the first place:)
Oh Charlotte, this is so profoundly beautiful and wise. I am on sabbatical writing a memoir in which Livingston figures regularly, if not prominently. I have a very different experience of it than you do, but I'm so grateful that it can be a different town to different people and that it is helping to give you the foundation to live consciously and with generosity. Stunning writing.
Oh thank you Linda -- and I'd love to chat with you some time about Livingston. While the place saved me after my brother died, the gentrification that's happened in the last 10 years, and the rate at which it's accelerating, well, that's going to be a major them in the LivingSmall at 20 series.
I am SO glad you'll be writing about that. Already what you've written has helped me think carefully about how I am describing my beloved/loathed home town. Yes, I'd love to talk about this. Perhaps contact me on my msu email? We can find a time to get together and chat; not to mention it will be lovely to see you.
I think growing up here would have been a very different experience, and while I'm not the current wave of gentrification, I certainly was part of one wave. I'll drop you a line at msu ...
This is so good. I love this piece. It’s all in the journey, the process. Building a life is something amazing, nothing to dismiss. Stopping the constant need to produce a showable product vs. sharing all those moments of making a beautiful life is noteworthy. Thank you for this. I think I’ve been doing something similar without realizing it. I just love to create and maybe that’s just it. It’s not about the next book. It’s about just sharing the life I built and continue building. And your piece also made me think about the stability I’m offering my kids, nothing to frown at. Made me think about some things. Great post!
Oh thank you so much! Glad to hear it resonated ... Part of my ongoing project to repudiate Yeats ... you don't have to choose, but perhaps we can build alternative models for what a creative life/career looks like?
Harriet! So lovely to hear from you -- yes, that is the project, isn't it? Gardens, cooking, making -- it's all about being in relationship with life on the deepest levels we can manage.
Oh gosh. I am so glad you shared this. Let us help you carry some of this. I’ve got griefcases just sitting around here for times like this. Here for the longhaul.
It's the lovely thing about Substack, isn't it? Reminds me of the beginning, when we were all blogging away, checking our RSS feeds in the morning, and cheering one another on. Full circle.
I hope you can see this comment- I am just now finding and reading you. Have you heard of Geneva,IL? That would be my Lake Forest. We did a stint in Lake Forest- but not proper Lake Forest. It was somewhere fringey to the actual Lake Forest. I was grown and in college by then. And I have taken the path of financial stability as well, realizing that my English degree and culinary arts degree were not going to cut the mustard in terms of financial security. And I have been moving and trying to settle into a place where I can build a womb around me- so here I am in the suburbs of DC, actually, (because, jobs) with my partner, six chickens, native plant garden plus fruit trees plus veg trugs. And I have a small house I want to pay off. And I live very intentionally, and after coming across the idea of querencia, I have made that my moniker (on Instagram as buildingquerencia). And I moved my mother into a house behind me so I can help. All this is to say that I guess I am surprised to find so many parallels. (No brother or sister, though). Geez! I’m glad to be reading about your life- maybe I am going to be ok myself! My condolences on so much of a loss. And you are not a failure- you wrote a novel! And a blog! And so much more! I know, this comment is way too long and gushy. Oh well.
Oh thank you Gail! I do know Geneva a little bit -- it's very beautiful out there. LF is a weird place, but it's "home" for most purposes, in the sense that it's where the people who knew me before I was a person live, it's where my elders live. But I've never regretted leaving.
And your life! If I have an evangelism, it's for what you're doing, and I'm doing. I mean, I'm not on a ranch -- I'm on a 50x100 foot town lot. It grieves me all the time that as a culture we've lost respect for the middle-life, the life of enough, the life of care, and attention, and moving our elderly loved ones close. So thank you! I'm doing some thinking today on what this Substack is for and about, and this was a real shot in the arm. Please! Let's keep the conversation going ...
Geneva and Lake Forest are great if you have wealth and a traditional family. Otherwise... not so much. I totally agree about the dignity of doing just fine, the subtle art of life-liberty-happiness, and chickens. How we are overwhelmed by our desire for status. I thought about you today- you wrote a book! I think that is amazing. And while I understand that you may have expected that you would write another, I must say that one is quite impressive! And a blog! And a Substack! And held a job and loved a brother and helped a mother and presumably did the laundry in there, somewhere, and paid the bills and grew a garden ... I mean..,,?? That’s a lot! And it seems to me that should be celebrated and honored- all those things. It’s admirable to those of us who haven’t. It’s the deepness and richness of it all that matters- the overcoming of perfection and shallowness. I think you should be proud. I will continue to read back thru your posts with glee and anticipation, for sure. You are a beacon of kindness. A hope for the rest of us.
Oh thanks! Yes -- this is pretty much the territory of one of the 2 books I'm working on at the moment -- the dignity of the ordinary, the value of building a life, and how we do that through the material things of the world.
Thank you so very much for your kind words. They come at an opportune moment!
This is such a beautiful piece of writing, and a lot of it really hit home for me! Thank you for writing this. The way you see the world and what it means to be a writer and really feel like a writer is a topic we all struggle with, and you described it beautifully!
Oh my! Thank you so much ...
Thank you for the words you found in this, for sharing your thoughts. I've been pondering much of it. So much is familiar. A few years ago, we "escaped" to Salmon, Idaho, for a variety of reasons I suspect you'd understand--very little gentrification here... yet. We make and create and fix and suffice and over time have been largely restored. Basically, without realizing it, we began our lives anew. A beautiful result of living deliberately, as you so nicely described it, is how it heightens awareness even as it is grounding. It has brought me much nearer to feeling synchronous and reflective and accepting in every moment. I hope the same has been true for you.
Oh thank you for this kind note. I'm hoping that the various turns I'm seeing back to the analog are a sign of changing winds. While the intertubes are still essential, I'd love to see the dream of a "seamless" life go the way of the NFT!
Such a beautiful essay. I’m so sorry for your losses.
Oh thank you. It's nice to be at the place where I can write it ...
Oh yes, I also meant to say your garden writing room is gorgeous.
My Himself built that for me out of door/window units he replaced on a rich clients place. It is THE BEST. Especially during our long windy winters ...
What a beautiful essay. Thank you.
Truly beautiful. Thank you.
Enjoyed this immensely, Charlotte. The ways we build a life has been much on my mind these days.
Thanks Patricia!
Write it all, Charlotte. Messy, self-prohibited, all. Let it shake out later.
I always remember another thing Gary says. That revision is literally re-vision. Seeing it again. (I know you know all this.) And that you can't see something again if it's not there in the first place:)
It's taken so much time to get to this place where I can re-vision this story. And time to get the false note out of the voice.
Oh Charlotte, this is so profoundly beautiful and wise. I am on sabbatical writing a memoir in which Livingston figures regularly, if not prominently. I have a very different experience of it than you do, but I'm so grateful that it can be a different town to different people and that it is helping to give you the foundation to live consciously and with generosity. Stunning writing.
Oh thank you Linda -- and I'd love to chat with you some time about Livingston. While the place saved me after my brother died, the gentrification that's happened in the last 10 years, and the rate at which it's accelerating, well, that's going to be a major them in the LivingSmall at 20 series.
I am SO glad you'll be writing about that. Already what you've written has helped me think carefully about how I am describing my beloved/loathed home town. Yes, I'd love to talk about this. Perhaps contact me on my msu email? We can find a time to get together and chat; not to mention it will be lovely to see you.
I think growing up here would have been a very different experience, and while I'm not the current wave of gentrification, I certainly was part of one wave. I'll drop you a line at msu ...
This is so good. I love this piece. It’s all in the journey, the process. Building a life is something amazing, nothing to dismiss. Stopping the constant need to produce a showable product vs. sharing all those moments of making a beautiful life is noteworthy. Thank you for this. I think I’ve been doing something similar without realizing it. I just love to create and maybe that’s just it. It’s not about the next book. It’s about just sharing the life I built and continue building. And your piece also made me think about the stability I’m offering my kids, nothing to frown at. Made me think about some things. Great post!
Oh thank you so much! Glad to hear it resonated ... Part of my ongoing project to repudiate Yeats ... you don't have to choose, but perhaps we can build alternative models for what a creative life/career looks like?
Just wow. Well done. I read it aloud as always before breakfast.
equal parts admiration and envy living a deliberate life is no small feat
Thanks Karen ...
In the meantime, there is life. Thank you dear lady. I felt all of this. Much respect.
Harriet! So lovely to hear from you -- yes, that is the project, isn't it? Gardens, cooking, making -- it's all about being in relationship with life on the deepest levels we can manage.
Oh gosh. I am so glad you shared this. Let us help you carry some of this. I’ve got griefcases just sitting around here for times like this. Here for the longhaul.
Oh thank you. That's all we can do for one another, isn't it?
Oh gosh. Making a new life is a heck of a thing. It's hard. And painful. But I can see it's going to be worth it, eventually, for me.
Writing is hard. :) You have to put everything out there or it doesn't work. And baring your inner thoughts to strangers is so incredibly difficult.
It's the lovely thing about Substack, isn't it? Reminds me of the beginning, when we were all blogging away, checking our RSS feeds in the morning, and cheering one another on. Full circle.